Greetings
and Welcome back!
Many
things have changed since your last visit, and fortunately for you Americans
are not expecting much, your media back home has already referred you as a lame
duck President who is going to India to watch a Parade! Oh additionally you may
be signing few papers and pose for photos with PM Modi, may be even a Selfie,
you can also learn how to take a Selfie from PM Modi.
This
time around instead of Mahatma Gandhi you may have to speak about Godse, so
please read about Godse and be prepared to call him a patriot, yes your secret
service staff can procure books on Godse from any RSS shakha, they will give it
for free. If PM Modi is going with you to Raj Gath it’s more for PR, and be
assured his respect is only for Godse and not Mahatma.
PM
Modi is all excited about your visit; America has always been his ultimate
dream. Recently at Vibrant Gujarat PM Modi promised the world cheap Indian
labour, and to prove it he paid Rs 300 per day each for 600 workers who cleaned
all parts of Agra that you had planned to visit. Agra and Taj Mahal got a face
lift just for you, and you decided to attend the Saudi King’s funeral, yes we understand,
oil is indeed thicker!
Our
media has changed too, last time they were all thrilled to talk about you for
weeks, and this time around they will be finding ways to praise PM Modi from
every word you utter. Last time around media was keen on what you wore and what
you did not, this time around they will be raving about PM Modi designer wear
and how he matches his attire to yours more than Michelle!
I
am aware that you have a very high regards for our soft spoken, well educated and
statesman Ex PM Dr Singh with 5x3.5 inch Heart and 1.5 kg Brain, but as I said
many things have changed, we now have a 56 inch chest PM Modi whom you have to
deal with and nothing more.
Was
told that you will be giving a sermon called ‘Maan Ki Baat’ along with PM Modi
on Radio, Maan Ki Baat is about speaking your mind, so be careful of what you
speak! If you really end up speaking your mind PM Modi Bhakts will troll and abuse
you, they can trend hash tag of abuses on Twitter within minutes! Beware that
the Indian-Americans will spoil the Democrats changes next elections, and will
stop funding your party if you even remotely speak your mind!
You
are the 1st US President to be part of the Republic Day Parade only because
PM Modi is obsessed with ‘1st
time’ even if it makes no sense to our Nation. So don’t get carried away
that you are the 1st American US at the Republic Day Parade, because
it’s not about you it’s about PM Modi.
India’s
Republic Day Parade is mostly about showcasing our defence strength and 60+ years of sheer growth and prosperity; don’t feel
bad because most of it on display will be Russian! All our previous governments
choose Russia over America, but don’t worry PM Modi is a America fan, most of
his election funding and support came from NRI’s in America, so expect defence
deals for America too.
PM
Modi has launched ‘Clean India’ campaign and asking celebrities to send
pictures holding a broom, many be you too should launch ‘Clean America’ to wipe
and clean the bloodshed across the world you have spilled in the name of war and security for America!
Our
Ex PM Dr Singh must have spoken to you about his policies and how it will help
most of India’s population, as I said many things have changed PM Modi policies
are like Karan Johar movies made for Rich, Affluent and NRI audience with lot
of Hoopla. PM Modi has already cut Medical, Healthcare, Land compensation,
Rural Jobs, Food, Farmer budget, so do not talk about the common people with PM
Modi he has left them to die a natural death or commit suicide as he has also
proposed to de-criminalize suicide.
Many
things have changed; PM Modi has changed all the name of the programs
implemented by Dr Singh lead Government. PM Modi likes ‘change’ he mostly changes
names and cloths way too often!
But
you just chill and have a good time, this visit is not about you it’s about PM
Modi and even if you make few false promises or goofy statements it’s ok, we are now
used to the lies PM Modi has told us before elections.
Don’t
even try to feel at home, RSS-VHP will then perform a Gharwapsi ceremony for
you!
Warm Regards
Kavitha Reddy